Penitenziagite
by giruveganus
Summary: For some reason, Adachi finds himself saddled with...regret? Spoilers for December.


**A/N**: The title…I was listening to "Majo" (Witch Hunt), and I thought…I thought this would be a good title. This is a re-post from the kinkmeme, which I posted allllll the way back in March. OP requested a story with Adachi and Yu. A rather sad one, I think. Enjoy!

**SPOILER ALERT. **Mentions of yaoi & character death.

* * *

It had been so easy.

All he did was wrap his hands around Yu's neck once the fight was over. The boy hadn't even fought. He'd had the grace to admit defeat. It only made Adachi angrier.

"_Beg! Beg for your life, damn it!" He'd yelled, shaking Yu, as if to jostle some kind of response out of him. He'd loosened his hold on the teen's neck, but still held him down with his body weight._

_The look in Yu's eyes had said it all. It made him burn with fury. Adachi had raised his gun. Nothing flickered in those silver eyes then- not even fear. He only said one thing._

"_A-Adachi-san, it's okay." Yu's voice had been raspy from being choked and he drew a shaky breath, then let it out. He sighed. _Sighed, _while staring death in the face._

_Adachi kept his gun raised. He pointed it at Yu's chest._

There were blood stains on his clothes. Now that he'd killed their leader, he supposed he should feel victorious. He tried to smile, he really did.

He was facing Yu's body. The blood had stopped flowing. He turned his back on the grisly scene. _Smile, damn it!_

He couldn't.

_Damn it! __**DAMN IT**__!_

"_So it was you." Yu said, quietly. He pulled back, his eyes cast down at the dirty floor of the apartment. "I had a feeling."_

_Adachi sat across from him with an ironically goofy grin on his face. "Usually this is the part where they cry and demand a reason why. Isn't that right, 'Leader'?"_

_Yu didn't look up for several seconds. When he did, his expression was neutral. "No." _

That had taken place a few days prior, before Yu and his gang of glorified toddlers came looking for him. Yu had come to his apartment that evening as he usually did. The affair they'd been having had been going on for a while now - since Namatame's third kidnapping. At first, Adachi was using their relationship to screw the little brat over. Yu wasn't a fool, though. Kid thought things out thoroughly. One day, Adachi had slipped, told Yu about his childhood. He'd watched the boy carefully. He just listened patiently and when Adachi finished his tirade, Yu had said in a calming tone, "I understand."

That day had been the same. Adachi told Yu it was him; he was the true killer. All he'd wanted to see was the kid's reaction. . He'd wanted to see gray eyes watering over with tears like a bitch. He'd even timed it perfectly: he waited until they were starting to get hot and heavy, then he'd leaned forward and whispered the truth into the kid's ear. Hell, after all that he should've been rewarded with a waterfall of tears! He was sorely disappointed when Yu had slid off his lap without a single tear and with very dry eyes. He hadn't asked Adachi why. He'd spoken confidently, like he understood everything. _"No."_

"_You'll meet me 'somewhere' a few days from now. Are you ready for that fight, 'Leader'? When we've had so much sex?" Not willing to give up, he was teasing, purposely poking at sensitive areas. He wanted to see Yu cry, wanted to hear him scream. He was disappointed again._

"_I know the reality of the situation." Yu moved back over to him and leaned forward, his eyes piercing as they usually were. "But I don't think _you_ do, Adachi-san." He'd closed the distance then. Yu always tasted good._

What had that brat meant, anyway? Had he wanted to die or something? How stupid. How boring. What a waste of time Yu had been.

He turns around to face Yu's body again. _Yeah. A waste of time…_

"_Adachi-san, why don't you try red cabbage instead?" Yu asked as he strode up to the detective in Junes._

_What the hell is he doing here? He pulled on a friendly face despite his annoyance. "Hunh. I don't know. Never thought of it."_

_He was nothing but an arrogant little shit. Nothing to me but a thorn constantly digging into my side. I finally removed him._

"_I understand how you feel, so it's okay now, alright? That's why I'm here."_

He couldn't possibly understand. He was just a child. What the fuck did he know about anything? Adachi nudges Yu's limp hand with his foot. Nothing. Well, it figured. He _did_ shoot the kid.

"_A-Adachi-san…aren't…you going to give me more?" A familiar scene, full of warm skin and the sound of Yu's faint voice. Yu's flushed cheeks as he peers behind him._

"_I understand the reality of the situation." The taste of tangerines on Yu's tongue and swallowing his cool breath._

"_I'm not afraid to die." The knowing smirk on Yu's lips as they strode through Junes._

"_It's strange to see you outside of Junes." Yu's teasing voice, cold wind and snowflakes caught in his silver hair. Ice on his lips, but the inside of his mouth warm like sitting near a fire._

"_It's okay. I understand." Yu's comforting smile and voice that causes something deep and aching to well up inside of him. He stuffed that feeling down deep, so deep inside so that he would never have to feel it again._

"Goddamn it, Yu! Shut the hell up!" Adachi yells, clutching at his head. He took out his gun and shot the kid again, trying to silence Yu's voice and stop the memories. He shot again and again until the gun dropped from his hand. Suddenly he can't stand up, and he shakily falls to his knees.

There's a young voice again. It's not Yu's voice, but it takes a few moments for him to recognize the voice.

"**Partner!**" Oh. It was Hanamura.

Adachi doesn't move at all. _"Partner", huh…_

Hanamura was screaming, wailing even. The girls were crying too, but trying to console him. It would've…no, it should've been funny to him.

But it's not.

_There you go, Yu. People will cry over your death, you damn brat. But now… no one will cry over me. It's a damn shame, too… I've always wanted to see you cry._

"Y-Yosuke, calm…calm down!" One of the girls was saying through her tears, her voice cracking. "Think clearly!"

"Get the fuck off me! _I'll __**kill **__him!"_

_Shit_, that Hanamura kid was loud. Adachi knelt down and reached over to touch Yu's silver hair. _What the hell am I doing? _He felt...strangely…hollow? Was that the word? Not remorseful, that was for damn sure...right? He combs a hand through the hair he'd grabbed and yanked many times before.

"Come on, you damn brat…" His lips were moving before he had the chance to think. "…how long do you plan on lying there? Get the hell up already…" There was something wet trailing his face.

"_Have you always felt this alone?" Yu asked him one day, while they were lying on the futon one evening. The question had come completely out of the blue and caught Adachi off guard._

"_H-huh?" He blinked, looking over at the boy next to him. I…I never said I was lonely. What the hell does he know about me?_

"_Well, it's okay. I think I told you before." Yu propped himself up on his elbows and moved closer to the detective. He was so close, Adachi could smell the soft, warm scent rolling off his skin. Yu tasted like cinnamon that day. Yu looked down at him with his usual gentle smile. "That's why I'm here." He said before leaning down and giving still-bewildered Adachi a kiss._

_Soft lips parted, and Yu said between kisses, "Foolish hollow people." _

_That had made no sense at the time. _

"_I know the reality of the situation…but you don't…"_

He thinks that he finally understands Yu's mysterious words.

"Yu…hey…" Adachi tugged on those silver locks again. Nothing. _Of course_ there was nothing. No matter what he did, there would still be nothing.

"_It's alright, Adachi-san."_

Hanamura was still yelling.

Several moments passed, but … he could no longer hear Yu's voice.


End file.
